i don't even know where you come from. i don't even know where you are! how embarrassed i'd be if you knew that this was about you! but i do, i do. i know your story and i knew you.
knew.
i don't even know what is what. everything swirls at this time of night, but it helps the creative process. some things make me ME more than i can ever make myself! isn't that silly?
this is stupid.
i find it so amazing that the people whose lives i was a part of for so long can go on and pretend that i was never there in the first place! years mean nothing to me. i guess i just care more than anyone else. its not me, its you. the whole deal.
this is not what i mean to write. i wanted to get sauced and write beautiful poems like i used to, but i guess every fountain runs dry at some point.
judging by how many people read this, i'm guessing this is solely for nikki. i hope she reads it.
i found a letter from june 16 2004 today. i love you. it doesn't matter. not now. everything is elsewhere. this wasn't about you until now. the rest is about girls that don't exist and never did in the first place.
diamonds, diamonds, diamonds.
16 years ago
please don't drink too much. i will not say that i wish things were different for you because i don't think this is a solution. but i hope you feel better. and i want you to know that you will always mean as much to me as you did when we took our walks on the tracks.
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