for example...

i woke up early and ate pancakes with grandma.


this is what life is.

man o man is breakfast great. waking up early is the best if you can ever get around to it.




but sometimes nights are restless and there is something altogether missing. there are so many distractions, but none seem worthwhile.

i'm planning my escape from everything. i can't take the same over and over, i can't take working just to scrape by, i can't take the possibility of too many potential failures, so i will start over when the weather gets warm.

SAY GOODBYE TO EVERYTHING YOU HATE!

after today

i will never see you again.

haha, how funny was yesterday?

messed up.

cap'n krump.





ahh boy the choices we make!

i drink too much

i don't even know where you come from. i don't even know where you are! how embarrassed i'd be if you knew that this was about you! but i do, i do. i know your story and i knew you.

knew.


i don't even know what is what. everything swirls at this time of night, but it helps the creative process. some things make me ME more than i can ever make myself! isn't that silly?

this is stupid.



i find it so amazing that the people whose lives i was a part of for so long can go on and pretend that i was never there in the first place! years mean nothing to me. i guess i just care more than anyone else. its not me, its you. the whole deal.

this is not what i mean to write. i wanted to get sauced and write beautiful poems like i used to, but i guess every fountain runs dry at some point.

judging by how many people read this, i'm guessing this is solely for nikki. i hope she reads it.

i found a letter from june 16 2004 today. i love you. it doesn't matter. not now. everything is elsewhere. this wasn't about you until now. the rest is about girls that don't exist and never did in the first place.


diamonds, diamonds, diamonds.

i will strip the bark from trees and write everything you've ever wanted to know about the leaves.