this snow won't blanket the earth

2011-06-23T03:33:00.002-04:00

i don't post in this anymore. at least for the time-being. i have a new camera now, but i'm finding it hard to compete with 3 other journals. my thoughts are apparently scattered, but hey, at least there's still something real, right?

in other news, i bought a thermos today. two of them, actually. i almost got a scooby-doo chia pet, too, but i found a new tie for 60 cents and bought that instead.

2009-09-30T10:55:00.003-04:00

my camera kinda ate shit. there's sand in the parts. it will randomly work sometimes, but it's a craps-shoot.

i need an audience again. i haven't had anyone to write to in years. i suppose it truly doesn't matter in terms of making and creating, but all of the instant feedback that the internet gives is just so gratifying. i just don't want to yup it up with a bunch of assholes and pretend i'm interested in what they have to say in the off chance that they might pretend the same for me.

guhhh.

on the other side, i feel like a fool trying to become interested in something that's really intriguing to me, but done by a person i hardly know.

welp... i wonder what i can find out there? i'm going to snag some adventure.

welp

2009-09-04T10:05:00.001-04:00

it's been awhile. and only one person reads this (maybe). now i guess i can put stuff in here again.

be there or be dumb

2009-04-20T02:01:00.003-04:00

hahaha

2009-04-17T04:08:00.001-04:00

the subject is more the body than this will ever be

take a ride

2009-03-24T13:33:00.000-04:00

just keep it going, keep it going

remember

2009-03-19T05:53:00.003-04:00

don't be upset that i have nothing to say to you when you bare your heart to me, just..

the sign can't be red

2009-03-12T03:47:00.000-04:00

2009-03-11T02:46:00.000-04:00

so far so wasted

shhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

so close

2009-03-09T12:21:00.001-04:00

it's so much closer to being warm all of the time, which means biking season is upon us very soon... i need to get a new bike and this time i want to have it diamond encrusted.

vid snaps hopefully coming soon.. new camera batteries, new ideas... just need props.

2009-02-12T03:28:00.001-05:00

i do not believe you can catch me, for i am super freaky.

for example...

2008-12-29T22:16:00.001-05:00

i woke up early and ate pancakes with grandma.

this is what life is.

2008-12-28T02:43:00.003-05:00

man o man is breakfast great. waking up early is the best if you can ever get around to it.

but sometimes nights are restless and there is something altogether missing. there are so many distractions, but none seem worthwhile.

i'm planning my escape from everything. i can't take the same over and over, i can't take working just to scrape by, i can't take the possibility of too many potential failures, so i will start over when the weather gets warm.

SAY GOODBYE TO EVERYTHING YOU HATE!

after today

2008-12-16T04:43:00.000-05:00

i will never see you again.

2008-12-10T06:54:00.001-05:00

haha, how funny was yesterday?

messed up.

cap'n krump.

ahh boy the choices we make!

i drink too much

2008-12-04T05:51:00.000-05:00

i don't even know where you come from. i don't even know where you are! how embarrassed i'd be if you knew that this was about you! but i do, i do. i know your story and i knew you.

knew.

i don't even know what is what. everything swirls at this time of night, but it helps the creative process. some things make me ME more than i can ever make myself! isn't that silly?

this is stupid.

i find it so amazing that the people whose lives i was a part of for so long can go on and pretend that i was never there in the first place! years mean nothing to me. i guess i just care more than anyone else. its not me, its you. the whole deal.

this is not what i mean to write. i wanted to get sauced and write beautiful poems like i used to, but i guess every fountain runs dry at some point.

judging by how many people read this, i'm guessing this is solely for nikki. i hope she reads it.

i found a letter from june 16 2004 today. i love you. it doesn't matter. not now. everything is elsewhere. this wasn't about you until now. the rest is about girls that don't exist and never did in the first place.

diamonds, diamonds, diamonds.

2008-12-04T00:22:00.002-05:00

i will strip the bark from trees and write everything you've ever wanted to know about the leaves.

home

2008-11-12T00:27:00.003-05:00

there's nothing better than being immersed in a full wave of nostalgia. nothing better than the feeling that this place is home -- this is where i belong.

watching the midnight sky from my old gravel driveway, i can see the lights from the nearby city on the horizon. i smoke a cigarette with my cat as we walk the length of the gravel to the road. there is no sound, save for a mew here and there, and i've never felt so comfortable being completely alone.

why stop living in the past? there's so much good left in it. this place will always be my home, and i was so immature to not see all of the possibilities that i've left untouched. living in the middle of nowhere isn't always so bad -- breakfast on the griddle, splitting firewood, growing a beard and wearing flannel. this is what i've always wanted and i've never realized it until now. i want to live in nature for a while, until the city calls me back.

i want to be the salt of the earth.

2008-10-24T03:29:00.002-04:00

there is a bone-crushing loneliness that comes with drinking a twelve-pack and doing resin hits in the early morning that can't quite be explained. the last matchstick burns itself out. sobriety surrounds and then swallows you whole.

i'm still me. i'm still me. it's still me.
it's still me.

it's still me.

between a place and a rock

2008-10-15T23:19:00.002-04:00

its autumn and i just wanted to say that i dont care. not that its autumn, but about you. selfish, shallow, and childish. i dont know how i couldnt see that none of it really mattered. at least, to one of us, that is.

anywho, heres a picture.

i don't know

2008-10-10T00:55:00.001-04:00

2008-10-01T22:15:00.000-04:00

i have no idea

2008-09-30T23:39:00.000-04:00

forgot about this

2008-09-29T13:34:00.000-04:00

ghost latitudes

2008-09-19T13:12:00.001-04:00

you're fucked now

2008-09-17T16:15:00.001-04:00

6 days

2008-09-16T00:45:00.000-04:00

2008-09-10T04:18:00.002-04:00

everything has been entirely boring lately on a very grim level. i've been slow to pick up any creative tools, despite picking up my old film slr camera. plans to sneak into the old hydro plant have been put on hold due to the rainy weather. also, plans are in the works to rent an art studio once i'm out from under this mountain of debt. i need to be closer to life.

driving school

2008-09-09T17:07:00.000-04:00

swampthang

2008-09-03T18:15:00.001-04:00

go on, git

2008-09-02T17:12:00.001-04:00

exploring

2008-08-31T13:04:00.001-04:00

goldmine

2008-08-27T14:13:00.000-04:00

find the gnome, win a prize

2008-08-24T14:00:00.001-04:00

gritty city.... shit happens

2008-08-23T05:07:00.000-04:00

two for one special

2008-08-21T21:46:00.000-04:00

2008-08-19T13:12:00.000-04:00

this great american wasteland

2008-08-19T04:25:00.001-04:00

reminds me of nik

2008-08-18T11:05:00.001-04:00

2008-08-17T23:38:00.000-04:00

the vast wilderness can't contain me. today i scaled mountains.

2008-08-15T11:46:00.000-04:00